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I'm a regular contributor to IHateTheMedia.com... I was flattered that they asked and I'm a sucker for flattery.
(Plus they bribed me with a nifty IHateTheMedia coffee mug.)


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2012    2011

December 31, 2013
Bloomberg left office at 4:45 PM

"New Yorkers should celebrate the tyrant’s departure by hoisting an extra large soda..."


December 31, 2013
Liberals are born stupid – Q.E.D.


December 31, 2013
Obama’s pollster has a New Year’s wish

"He wishes the media would ignore polling data for 2014..."


December 30, 2013
The happiest people are conservative women

"Because they tend to be with conservative men?"


December 30, 2013
Ever wonder what those serial ADA plaintiffs are like?

"Meet Jon Carpenter, convicted sexual abuser of 8-year-old girls..."


December 28, 2013
Dumbest Quote of the Year winner

"New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman..."


December 28, 2013
With Phil Robertson re-instated at A&E...

"MSNBC has responded by getting even more hysterical..."


December 27, 2013
Radical feminists disrupt Christmas mass at German cathedral

"“I AM GOD” written in block letters across her naked torso..."


December 27, 2013
Rocky Horror wannabe defeats Newark Airport security

"The TSA is nothing if not consistent..."


December 26, 2013
The Mayor Bloomberg legacy: tyranny by bureaucrats

"This time they decided to ban electronic cigarettes..."


December 26, 2013
Guess what: fracking saves water

"There goes another one of the biggest myths about fracking..."


December 26, 2013
Eric Holder’s DOJ finally brings hate crime charges for “knockout game”

"They’re charging the one single white guy caught playing the game."


December 24, 2013
Every holiday, something tasteless from Planned Parenthood

"As you can imagine, it won’t be winning any GRAMMYs."


December 24, 2013
Talk about a tough city

"...they just shot Santa in the back while he was trying to hand out toys."


December 23, 2013
CDC agrees with Duck Dynasty patriarch

"The CDC says homosexual men comprise about 2% of the population but create 78% of the HIV infections..."


December 23, 2013
Obama signs up for Obamacare

"He got the “bronze” plan for $400/month – what a guy!"


December 23, 2013
The Obama family Christmas card

"For the fifth year in a row, there is no mention of Christmas, Jesus, or the Bible..."


December 22, 2013
Pajama Boy’s roots?

"Creepy as it is to think of MSNBC hosts having sex..."


December 22, 2013
Feds killing barred owls to save spotted owls

"God forbid an owl is born with the wrong feather pattern..."


December 22, 2013
Oregon health exchange robocalls going out this weekend

"How do you like that government health care now, Obama voters?"


December 21, 2013
Another sleazy Democrat facing a slew of sexual harassment complaints

"...this year we learned where they got the idea."


December 21, 2013
Feds spend $1,123,463 for strawberry robot

"And that’s not even the punch line..."


December 20, 2013
School district workers in Wisconsin reject 70 of 408 union recertifications

"Turns out an awful lot of educators don’t think union dues buy them anything worthwhile."


December 20, 2013
PLO official brags about Arabs supporting Nazis during WWII

"Another one for the No Shit Sherlock file."


December 19, 2013
President Obama’s half brother calls him a liar

"Mark Obama Ndesandjo has written an autobiography with a special appendix..."


December 19, 2013
You think we’ve got it bad under Obamacare?

"Across the pond, convicted murderer Paris Green – born Peter Laing..."


December 18, 2013
Duck Dynasty star takes aim at gays

"And boy oh boy is the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) having a hissy fit!"


December 18, 2013
North America about to drown in oil

"Peak Oil theorists can go suck eggs..."


December 18, 2013
Geographers map seven deadly sins

"Look where greed is concentrated... all the great liberal bastions of America."


December 17, 2013
Pope Francis fires outspoken critic of abortion and gay marriage

"Okay, do we have enough info now to form a clear opinion about the new Pope?"


December 17, 2013
Obama edits the Bill of Rights on Bill of Rights Day

"Maybe he was looking at a different version that the rest of us haven’t seen."


December 16, 2013
AP’s most puke-worthy headline of 2013

"CLIMATE CHANGE IS NEW ENEMY FOR KERRY IN VIETNAM"


December 16, 2013
Washington health insurance exchange hitting people’s bank accounts

"There’s nothing like an unexpected $800 outlay right before Christmas..."


December 16, 2013
Global Warmists had a big conference last week in San Francisco

"And the Gore Effect was in full force..."


December 15, 2013
Accused rapist wins 2013 Heisman Trophy

"Probably not the proudest moment in Heisman history..."


December 15, 2013
Israel looking to form strategic partnership with Russia

"That’s how untrustworthy the United States has become as an ally..."


December 15, 2013
Russian diplomats signed up for Medicaid

"Remember, this is the program vastly expanded by Obamacare..."


December 14, 2013
PolitiFact “Lie of the Year” came from PolitiFact itself

"If liberals had any sense of shame, the editors at PolitiFact would be committing hara-kiri right now."


December 14, 2013
Thank you, gays, for bringing us to this

"A federal judge just ruled that Utah’s anti-polygamy law is unconstitutional..."


December 14, 2013
Harry Reid personally pressured DHS to benefit son’s casino project

"Why shouldn’t his son, Rory, get rich too?"


December 14, 2013
China lands on Moon

"They’re on the Moon – we have Obamacare."


December 13, 2013
Media Matters declares victory over Fox News

"Talk about delusional..."


December 12, 2013
ESPN refuses to run Christmas ad that mentions God

"Okay, fine, ESPN has that right, just like we have the right to stop watching ESPN..."


December 12, 2013
Washington Post adds MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow to editorial page

" Because, gee whiz, these geniuses... decided they weren’t leaning far enough left."


December 12, 2013
Speaking of Nelson Mandela...

"look who supported Voter ID."


December 11, 2013
Kelo v. City of New London neighborhood today

"Tiny government houses with windmills – what could go wrong?"


December 11, 2013
Air Force kicks Baby Jesus off base

"It took the Air Force two hours fifteen minutes to respond to a telephone complaint to the Pentagon..."


December 11, 2013
Turkish students arrested for Nazi salutes at Auschwitz

"Those doggone Muslims – nothing but class."


December 10, 2013
Canada plans to claim the North Pole

"...it seems counterproductive to piss off Santa Claus right at Christmas time – he keeps lists."


December 10, 2013
One last piece of tyranny from Nanny Bloomberg before he leaves office

"After that, Bloomberg can go back to playing Mini-Me in Austin Powers movies."


December 9, 2013
Army Lt. Col. wants to pry guns from cold dead fingers of American citizens

"Go ahead and try, Mr. Bateman."


December 9, 2013
Pulitzer Prize winning journalist says Obama lied about Syria

"...wouldn’t the real news story be Obama telling the truth about something?"


December 9, 2013
Time deciding between Miley Cyrus and the Pope for “Person of the Year”

"You can see where the choice might be difficult..."


December 9, 2013
New cockroach in New York handles harsh winter temperatures

"This should be the final nail in the Global Warming coffin."


December 8, 2013
Iceland had a revolution and overthrew their government

"It happened five years ago but the U.S. news media ignored it."


December 8, 2013
In touching tribute to Mandela, Obama talks about himself

"With the Narcissist-in-chief, everything is always, first and foremost, about Barack Obama..."


December 8, 2013
Hey, maybe Charlie Rangel isn’t so bad

"...on the positive side he hates Obama."


December 7, 2013
The new sign being posted in doctor’s offices

"Enjoy your new federal-government-run health insurance people..."


December 7, 2013
German scientists predict looming ice age

"Luckily, we have all those federally sponsored windmills, solar panels, and algae farms to keep us warm."


December 7, 2013
Anti-God group erects competition for nativity scene in Florida Capitol

"Nothing like turning Christmas into a never ending 60 Minutes Point/Counterpoint segment."


December 6, 2013
Obama annoyed by the outrage

"Apparently forgetting for the moment... that he himself was one of the most outraged."


December 6, 2013
Federal agency brags “NOTHING IS BEYOND OUR REACH”

"...their new logo falls one or two gnat’s whiskers short of tactful."


December 5, 2013
ACLU suing United States Conference of Catholic Bishops

"According to ACLU Newspeak, abortion equals liberty, by golly..."


December 5, 2013
One meeting in more than three and a half years

"That’s how involved the president was in the implementation of Obamacare."


December 4, 2013
Obama seriously considered minting a trillion-dollar coin to bypass debt ceiling

"We all thought this was a joke dreamed up by whacky fringe leftists..."


December 4, 2013
Surprise, surprise: Obama’s illegal uncle gets to stay in the U.S.

"Boy oh boy, who saw that coming?"


December 3, 2013
Archie Comics CEO sued for gender discrimination

"Nancy Silberkleit is accused of calling male employees “Penis” instead of using their names..."


December 3, 2013
Venezuela goes dark

"USA, take a good hard look at your future."


December 3, 2013
New brain study suggests men and women are wired differently

"File this one in the No Shit Sherlock Department."


December 2, 2013
New York lawsuit seeks “personhood” for chimpanzees

"The lawsuit, filed by Nonhuman Rights Project..."


December 2, 2013
Muslim congressman says Obama showed “integrity” when he apologized for lying

"So now we know how Muslims define integrity."


December 1, 2013
HHS to spend $7 billion designing ways to save money on Obamacare

"Here’s an idea, Ms. Sebelius: don’t spend the $7 billion."


December 1, 2013
Gender-confused students at women’s college don’t like personal pronouns

"Instead of “he” or “she” they want to be called “ze,” “e,” “ou,” or “ve…”"


November 30, 2013
Common Core says teach Gettysburg Address without mentioning Civil War

"Because it would be unfair to assume students know what the Civil War is..."


November 30, 2013
Do you feel like Thanksgiving week was a bit chilly this year?

"Past seven days: 205 record snowfalls and 1,172 record lows..."


November 30, 2013
Camden NJ gets rid of unionized police...

"crime rate plunges."


November 29, 2013
Obama gives a command, MSNBC genuflects and obeys

"Dear Leader said he wanted people selling Obamacare at the Thanksgiving table..."


November 29, 2013
Cancer victim who complained about Obamacare on Fox News now being audited by IRS

"...at least the guy won’t be needing a proctologist."


November 29, 2013
Sharia police in Nigeria destroy 240,000 bottles of beer

"Okay, now those crazy Muslims have gone too far!"


November 28, 2013
I am not a turkey!

"Sure, okay, I lied about what Obamacare would do to you, and..."


November 27, 2013
Desperate for circulation, The New York Times goes tabloid

"By putting a giant picture of a nipple on the front page."


November 27, 2013
Speechifying about immigration, President Obama lets his inner racist out

"It’s like getting a peek at the demon inside Linda Blair..."


November 27, 2013
NSA spied on Internet porn habits to acquire info for discrediting people

"And here we thought..."


November 27, 2013
Nokia Tweets Merry Christmas to its customer base

"But something goes awry during the translation from Finnish to English."


November 26, 2013
While Lurch Kerry was in Geneva being bamboozled by Iran...

"Iran had a delegation in North Korea buying a new long-range rocket booster for ICBMs..."


November 26, 2013
Obama to close Vatican embassy

"A symbolic gesture that will no doubt be punctuated by opening an embassy in Mecca."


November 25, 2013
Angola becomes first country in the world to ban Islam and Muslims

"Hey, when you can’t get along with your classmates, you get expelled..."


November 25, 2013
Afghanistan plans to reintroduce public stoning for adultery

"Good thing we swooped in there and saved that place from its backwardness..."


November 24, 2013
Elementary school parents aghast at Common Core homework

"...just what you would expect from an education system designed by liberals."


November 24, 2013
Member of Seal Team 6 suggests it wasn’t Osama bin Laden they killed

"Hey, Barack Obama has lied about everything else, why not this, too?"


November 24, 2013
CA high-speed rail update

"$600 million spent so far, not a single mile of track laid..."


November 23, 2013
Franken caves

"The man who cheated his way into the Senate in 2008..."


November 23, 2013
Duke Lacrosse accuser convicted of murder

"...maybe this troubled woman could have been saved."


November 22, 2013
Newspapers celebrate 50th anniversary of JFK assassination by blaming right wingers

"Even though the guy who pulled the trigger was a Communist."


November 21, 2013
Wow. Obamacare reality from a California employer.

"This letter... will scare the crap out of you."


November 21, 2013
UN climate talks end in giant hissy-fit walkout

"They want money and they’re gonna hold their breath and turn purple until they get it."


November 21, 2013
World’s dumbest high-tech billionaire’s new idea

"We never get tired of chronicling the way Bill Gates vomits money into stupid ventures..."


November 21, 2013
Mysterious creature caught offshore in Canada identified

"No, it’s not Cher without makeup. Good guess though..."


November 20, 2013
John Kerry repudiates Monroe Doctrine

"And we assume Barack Obama will first hear about it on CNN."


November 20, 2013
Harvard students can’t name the capital of Canada

"The scary part? These people are running the country."


November 19, 2013
Cher calls Sarah Palin the C-word

"Bitter waxes the wrinkled old diva..."


November 19, 2013
Democrat state senator roaming Hawaii with a sledgehammer...

"smashing homeless people’s shopping carts."


November 18, 2013
Bloomberg News censors, then fires, investigative reporter in China

"...don’t you dare tell the truth about Communist China."


November 18, 2013
Boeing may look to Middle East after Seattle unions reject contract

"Arabs building planes – what could go wrong?"


November 17, 2013
HuffPo writer has 12 reasons why Obama is one of the best presidents ever

"And he’s serious."


November 17, 2013
Kuwaiti newspaper reports that Obama is refusing calls from Netanyahu

"It’s probably just a misunderstanding..."


November 17, 2013
Membership in Episcopal Church plummets

"After a decade of welcoming gays, lesbians, and Arians into the priesthood..."


November 17, 2013
D.C. insurance commissioner who questioned Obama fix is fired

"How dare he question the Führer."


November 16, 2013
Obama didn’t consult health insurers before making Obamacare changes

"Why would the smartest man in the world need to consult anyone?"


November 16, 2013
Official probe concludes Obama administration broke the law

"...we expect a quick promotion for Ms. Otero."


November 15, 2013
Pennsylvania newspaper retracts 150-year-old editorial

"Who said newspapers were slow to admit they’re wrong?"


November 15, 2013
Al-Qaeda rebels in Syria mistakenly behead one of their own

"He looked like an infidel, doggone it..."


November 14, 2013
Architect of Obamacare blames website failure on Fox News

"...smug bastard."


November 14, 2013
Obama used nonexistent fatwa to justify talks with Iran

"No such fatwa exists..."


November 14, 2013
Global warming scientists discover world’s oldest living creature

"Then accidentally kill it trying to determine its age."


November 13, 2013
Add WebMD to the list of media we hate

"...they were being paid by the government to promote Obamacare."


November 13, 2013
The New York Times invents a brand spankin’ new phrase...

"to help them through the balance of Obama’s term in office."


November 12, 2013
Unofficial Obamacare navigator

"Solution for higher insurance premiums: find a sugar daddy."


November 12, 2013
Remember this photograph?

"Here’s the same shot shifted 90 degrees..."


November 12, 2013
Plaque on building at Northeastern Illinois University in Chicago

"...that’s how long the Democrat Party has been trying to revise history to hide their ignoble past."


November 11, 2013
“Muslims can take the property of Christians and Jews”

"(What? You thought this came from some foreign whackjob in Egypt or Saudi Arabia?)"


November 11, 2013
Guess who took the food stamp money

"Obama diverted $4.5 billion from the program to fund Michelle’s bean-sprout-heavy Let’s Move! school lunch program..."


November 10, 2013
Three guys build alternative Healthcare.gov over the weekend

"For free. And it works..."


November 9, 2013
Windmills killed at least 600,000 bats last year

"...by golly, windmills are the perfect liberal idea."


November 9, 2013
White guy wins Houston election by pretending he’s black

"Thereby garnering the black racist votes."


November 8, 2013
Another video lie from network television news

"This time it’s ABC with an animation..."


November 8, 2013
Brother of Barack Obama might qualify as enemy combatant

"So that would make two of them in the family."


November 7, 2013
NBC introduces “Must (not) See TV”

"They should have broadcast this one from New Mexico."


November 7, 2013
Antarctic sea ice hits 35-year record high

"One climate scientist can’t understand how this is possible..."


November 7, 2013
Anti-Tea Party protesters scared of Billy Graham

"He does look a little bit like Charlton Heston."


November 6, 2013
Marvel Comics announces new Muslim superheroine

"Hopefully she won’t be asked to use her superpowers in Saudi Arabia..."


November 6, 2013
Wal-Mart shopper experiences traffic stop from hell

"We assume everybody involved shared a cigarette and agreed to call each other later."


November 6, 2013
How many health insurance plans are “substandard” under Obamacare?

"Answer: 98%."


November 5, 2013
Military training manual says white men have unfair advantage

"Nothing like instilling racial antagonism to foster teamwork ..."


November 5, 2013
Obama administration rules that Obamacare is NOT a “federal health care program”

"Oh goody, more fodder for late-night talk show comedians."


November 5, 2013
Eric Holder STILL threatening George Zimmerman

"When you put a suit on a thug, all you end up with is a thug in a suit."


November 4, 2013
Harry Belafonte opens mouth, spews hate, makes giant ass of himself

"There, now we have a headline we can use once a week without changing a word."


November 4, 2013
The next great idea for Nanny Bloomberg?

"Desperate to prove that socialism doesn’t suck..."


November 4, 2013
White House attacks Stage IV cancer patient

"For decades the left has been promising a classless society – now we know what they meant."


November 4, 2013
Hallmark forced to apologize for miniature sweater Christmas ornament

"So anyway, Hallmark apologized. For something."


November 3, 2013
Another peer-reviewed study suggests climate change is natural

"...much more predictable than the IPCC’s 138 flagrantly-wrong GIGO-esque computer models."


November 3, 2013
Atlanta team sets new Cannonball Run record

"28 hours 50 minutes and 30 seconds..."


November 2, 2013
Fox News reporter calls Obamacare helpline and gets ominous reply

"WTF? How did they know and why would they care?"


November 2, 2013
JP Morgan’s food stamp empire

"As usual, Wall Street thrives while the rest of the country suffers."


November 2, 2013
Michigan man claims he told the FBI where Bin Laden was in 2003

"...now he wants the $25 million reward."


November 1, 2013
Obama hires firm to fix Healthcare.gov

"And, guess what, it’s the same campaign donor-crony who built the mess in the first place..."


November 1, 2013
“Healthy Ho” event registers 40 prostitutes for Obamacare

"Finally, a Healthcare.gov navigator who knows the lay of the land."


November 1, 2013
From the “Do you miss me yet?” category...

"a photo of George W. Bush trick-or-treating yesterday with tiny astronaut granddaughter."


October 31, 2013
Rasmussen poll: 37% think zombies could do a better job running the country

"Our faith in the intelligence of the American electorate is restored."


October 31, 2013
Flush with the successful launch of Healthcare.gov...

"the Obama administration is ready to take over the news media."


October 31, 2013
Goldman Sachs busy buying the next president, too

"Why not? They own the current president and it’s been very good for business."


October 31, 2013
NSA even spied on the Pope!

"Maybe they were afraid he belonged to the Tea Party and needed an IRS audit."


October 31, 2013
Muslim suicide bomber blows himself up on empty beach

"Darwin Award shoo-in."


October 30, 2013
Obamacare website sending people to Brooklyn Cupcake shop

"Hey, maybe this is a sign things are improving."


October 30, 2013
Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) apologizes for calling Harry Reid an asshole

"But why?"


October 30, 2013
PETA upset about cruelty to...

"cockroaches."


October 29, 2013
MSNBC host Ronan Farrow is nostalgic for the Clintons

"...MSNBC is smoking some powerful weed, man."


October 29, 2013
Jesse Jackson Jr. turned away from prison

"Apparently he showed up four days early to serve his sentence..."


October 29, 2013
RNC’s new videos mocking Obamacare

"Remember those old “I’m a Mac, I’m a PC” commercials Apple used to mock Microsoft?"


October 28, 2013
Hoover? You mean like the vacuum cleaner?

"Both guys are probably rolling over in their graves."


October 28, 2013
The video clip that should, if the world made sense, result in the impeachment of Barack Obama

"But of course the world does not make sense."


October 28, 2013
Post Office honoring pederast Harvey Milk with commemorative postage stamp

"Gee, if honoring homosexual sexual predators is the goal, how about a Jeffrey Dahmer stamp?"


October 28, 2013
The president did not know the NSA was spying on foreign leaders... honest

"So relax everybody, the buck doesn’t stop with Sergeant Obama this time, either."


October 27, 2013
When America achieved

"...Americans strived to be the biggest possible numerator, instead of the lowest common denominator."


October 26, 2013
Al Sharpton and Michael Moore argue that Christianity is as bad as Islam

"Warning: an irresistible urge to throw things at your computer monitor is likely."


October 26, 2013
What does “CGI” stand for?

"Comically Gruesomely Incompetent?"


October 26, 2013
What if they had a solar auction and nobody showed up?

"There were no bids. As in zero. Zip. None."


October 25, 2013
Now that he’s nothing but a joke in his own country...

"Al Gore is taking his act on the road by saving Australia..."


October 24, 2013
Sebelius has a history of failing with new websites

"So who’s the guy that put her in charge of the biggest most-expensive website failure of all time?"


October 24, 2013
Thank you again, Supreme Court

"For that 2005 Kelo v. City of New London ruling..."


October 24, 2013
Really? More poisonous imports from China?

"This time it’s jerky treats that have sickened nearly four thousand dogs and cats..."


October 24, 2013
Obama trying to replace Marine hats with unisex French-looking ones

"Next logical step: change the Marine motto from Semper Fidelis to Semper Fidelia."


October 23, 2013
John McCain says he might run for re-election in 2016

"Just what we need, an 80-year-old delusional RINO..."


October 23, 2013
Sebelius says Obama didn’t know about Healthcare.gov problems ahead of time

"Of course not. He doesn’t even know about the problems afterward."


October 23, 2013
Obamacare cover-up underway

"...the Obama administration... asked them not to publicize how many people have signed up for health insurance..."


October 23, 2013
New French stamp used radical Ukrainian Femen-ist for model

"President François Hollande... forgot about the danger of insulting thirty million Frenchwomen..."


October 22, 2013
White House touts Healthcare.gov success story that wasn’t

"This is how desperate they are to find an example of the website working."


October 22, 2013
UN climate chief breaks down in tears over Global Warming

"Who knows with crazy people?"


October 22, 2013
Democrat Alan Grayson fundraises with burning cross

"It’s always a bit awkward for these liberal white hypocrites to play the race card."


October 21, 2013
UN Human Rights Council issues report praising Saudi Arabia

"Out of 95 countries who took the floor at the United Nations today, 82 praised Saudi Arabia..."


October 21, 2013
Obama rounds up 13 human props to shill for Obamacare

"Turns out only three of them managed to register at Healthcare.gov..."


October 20, 2013
New York drowning in bribes and corruption

"And what color is New York politically?"


October 19, 2013
Kathleen Sebelius tells Congress she’s too busy to testify about Obamacare website

"But she had time to fly up to Boston for the inaugural Kennedy forum gala Friday night..."


October 19, 2013
Transgendered folks want free Obamacare mammograms

"Yeah, very confusing..."


October 18, 2013
“Morgan. Piers Morgan.”

"CNN’s late-night news show host has one remaining ambition..."


October 18, 2013
Canadian geophysicist calculates greenhouse effect for the first time

"His conclusion: ..."


October 18, 2013
Man gets six months of work release after voting for Obama twice in 2012

"After all, the guy was high, and it’s not like he voted for Obama six times."


October 17, 2013
TV shutdown coverage overwhelmingly blamed Republicans

"62 stories blamed Republicans, zero stories blamed Democrats."


October 16, 2013
Hollywood builds an ark destined to sink

"Gee, who saw that coming?"


October 16, 2013
U.S. Army classifies Christian ministry as “domestic hate group”

"The American Family Association is categorized alongside Nazis and the KKK..."


October 16, 2013
How stupid are Washington, D.C., voters?

"This stupid: they think the government shutdown is George Bush’s fault."


October 15, 2013
Fox News making itself at home on White House grounds

"What’s that you say? Not Fox News? Oh, it’s a fox..."


October 15, 2013
Mennonites versus homosexuals

"Next time, the Mennonites should say..."


October 15, 2013
Convicted Weatherman terrorist Bernardine Dohrn accuses Ann Coulter of violence

"Apparently the rationale for the accusation is that Coulter is a conservative who gives speeches..."


October 14, 2013
No shit, Sherlock

"Ezra Klein went on MSNBC this morning and admitted Obamacare is a “big failure.”"


October 14, 2013
USPS to destroy entire press run of brand new Just Move! stamps

"Because the President’s Council on Fitness, Sports & Nutrition says the stamps depict “unsafe” activities."


October 14, 2013
George Soros gets millions in taxpayer funds...

"to promote his far-left whackadoodle ideas around the world."


October 14, 2013
Global Warming strikes again

"Weird how the MSM is mostly ignoring this news story."


October 14, 2013
Another Obama buddy in trouble

"...one of the largest individual financial backers of Obama’s re-election effort."


October 13, 2013
Newark Mayor Cory Booker apparently never lived in Newark

"His fake residency is a little more serious than his fake friend T-Bone..."


October 13, 2013
Libyan prime minister’s kidnapping was caused by Obama leak

"But hey, as long as Obama’s Peace Prize isn’t tarnished..."


October 12, 2013
Guess what – liberals really are crazy

"Psychopathic, to be precise..."


October 12, 2013
“Ancient artifact” that master diplomat Barack Obama gave Iran is fake

"...in exchange for fake offers of peace."


October 12, 2013
YOU WILL NOT JOKE!

"The Borg hive TSA is broadcasting threats of arrest over airport loudspeakers..."


October 12, 2013
No soup for you!

"A deaf mom in Virginia got a terse note from her son’s teacher..."


October 11, 2013
Steven Pagones calls out MSNBC’s Al Sharpton

"That’s it, shine a light into the MSNBC rathole and watch them scurry."


October 10, 2013
The enduring image of the Obama administration that cost us $634,320,919

"...we’re fairly confident the people at CGI will turn out to be huge donors to the Obama presidential campaign."


October 9, 2013
CBS actually notices!

"The Communist Broadcasting System understands that Obamacare is a “disastrous” mess."


October 9, 2013
Exciting and uplifting news from a college campus

"Students at the University of Colorado blame Obama and/or Democrats for the government shutdown..."


October 8, 2013
Map from 1418 shows Chinese in America 74 years before Columbus

"And now they hold the mortgage on the place..."


October 7, 2013
Common Core hits new low

"Oh nice, Common Core is preparing third graders to be script writers on Cheaters..."


October 7, 2013
ATF blocking publication of whistleblower’s Fast and Furious book

"In other words, ATF doesn’t want the embarrassment."


October 6, 2013
Barry the Hutt

"Our crime boss in chief assumes time is on his side..."


October 6, 2013
WWII vets storm through another barrycade

"Semper Fi, Marines, and thank you again."


October 6, 2013
Facebook chooses sides – joins the forces of tyranny

"God forbid Americans be allowed to see what’s happening in Washington."


October 5, 2013
Bill Maher mocks WWII vets for visiting their memorial

"They’re the greatest generation – nobody said they were the brightest generation."


October 5, 2013
Bikers headed back to Washington

"This time they’re headed for the barrycaded World War II Memorial..."


October 5, 2013
Obama closes the ocean

"Speaking of water, our president has gone off the deep end."


October 5, 2013
Obama closes church

"If civilian priests try to conduct mass Sunday as unpaid volunteers, they will be arrested."


October 4, 2013
Duck Dynasty star says A&E editors cut out the name of Jesus

"Color us unsurprised by Hollywood’s perfidy."


October 4, 2013
Chris Matthews pens book about the 1980s – “when politics worked”

"Somehow Matthews-the-author never noticed that his boss back then..."


October 3, 2013
CBS warns viewers of 212 degree warming of air temperatures

"...apparently CBS reporter Ben Tracy has a brain the size of a peanut."


October 3, 2013
Belgium went without a government for 589 days

"So don’t let the politicians in D.C. sell you any scare stories."


October 3, 2013
Obama tries to shut down privately owned Mount Vernon

"But the Mount Vernon Ladies’ Association, which owns the place..."


October 3, 2013
Obama closes privately-funded Claude Moore Colonial Farm

"I have never worked with a more arrogant, arbitrary, and vindictive group representing the NPS..."


October 2, 2013
Obama capriciously, callously, shabbily blocks World War II vets from visiting their memorial

"...this alone is grounds for impeachment."


October 2, 2013
Bigfoot is real

"A group of scientists is showing digital video of Sasquatch..."


October 2, 2013
The other side of transgender

"Maybe, just maybe, gender is not the issue with these unhappy people..."


October 1, 2013
MSNBC anchor tries to sign up for Obamacare – finally gives up

"Best quote: “I keep getting this error page.”"


October 1, 2013
Obamacare will reduce the rate of cancer

"Seems like good news, right? But wait..."


September 30, 2013
Brown University nudity week starts today!

"There will be naked yoga classes (participants only, no auditing)..."


September 30, 2013
Who would walk away from the planet’s richest gold deposit?

"Answer: Anglo American..."


September 30, 2013
It’s come to this – House members openly laughing at President Obama

"The boy is right! The Emperor is naked! It’s true!"


September 29, 2013
Cuts to hours or jobs caused by the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act

"As of September 25, the list includes 313 employers."


September 29, 2013
Saudi sheikh says women shouldn’t drive because it damages their ovaries and pelvis

"Guess now we know why Saudi Arabia has never won a Nobel Prize... in any subject."


September 28, 2013
CBS News buries its own poll about rising Tea Party popularity

"It’s almost like CBS News has an agenda."


September 28, 2013
Average measurements compared – US men a little chubby

"Left to right you’re looking at..."


September 28, 2013
Berkeley prof admits Hockey Stick was BS but insists Global Warming is real

"...just trust him."


September 26, 2013
Vatican says Pelosi must be denied Communion

"Nice to know the cardinals in Rome are reading JPAttitude.com."


September 26, 2013
President Obama took away Big Bird’s health insurance

"Yep, and Bert & Ernie’s, too."


September 25, 2013
Largest food fraud in U.S. history

"A lot of that honey you’ve been eating wasn’t really honey..."


September 25, 2013
While Ted Cruz filibustered for 21 hours...

"the mainstream media was busy insisting it wasn’t a filibuster."


September 25, 2013
The snub heard ’round the world

"Three times yesterday Obama offered to hook up with Iranian President Hassan Rouhani..."


September 25, 2013
Yacht race for the ages

"Anybody who hasn’t seen these wild-ass catamarans flying across San Francisco Bay..."


September 24, 2013
Mickey brings the hammer down on disabled people

"...Disneyland and Disney World will no longer offer preferential line-cutting for disabled people."


September 24, 2013
White House celebrates Bisexual Visibility Day...

"with a roundtable discussion behind closed doors."


September 24, 2013
Student suspended (possibly expelled) for shooting toy gun in his own yard

"If Obama had a son..."


September 23, 2013
Penis amputation after “enthusiastic” Viagra overdose

"So far Viagra sales have always been up but this story..."


September 23, 2013
90% of top newspapers leave “Muslim” and “Islam” out of Monday headlines...

"over front page stories about Muslim terrorists..."


September 23, 2013
DC income versus the rest of us

"Don’t worry about our rulers – they’re doing fine."


September 23, 2013
Climate Week NYC celebrates “Ten Days of Climate Action”

"Ten days in a week?"


September 23, 2013
CAIR changes its name to WTF

"We can’t wait to see the new logo."


September 22, 2013
Romney family adopts baby who happens to be black...

"sending liberals into paroxysms of hate."


September 22, 2013
“Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy returns to U.S. Armed Forces

"This time for Christians."


September 21, 2013
Venezuelan government takes over toilet paper factory

"Yeah, like that’ll solve the shortage problem. Snicker."


September 21, 2013
Obama calls Boehner to say he won’t negotiate on debt ceiling

"We wonder how that conversation went..."


September 21, 2013
“All Muslims leave… we only want to kill non-Muslims!”

"Wake up world, Islam is a plague."


September 20, 2013
Tunisian women waging sex jihad in Syria

"They travel to Syria where they comfort Islamist fighters..."


September 20, 2013
Benghazi Accountability Review Board head parsing words like he’s Bill Clinton

"When our admirals sound like mealy-mouthed politicians, we’re in serious trouble..."


September 20, 2013
California college bars student from handing out copies of Constitution

"On Constitution Day."


September 19, 2013
Obama says raising the debt ceiling doesn’t raise the debt

"Then why do it, doofus?"


September 19, 2013
UN tells Canada to develop plan to stop violence against aboriginal women

"Canada says, “Up yours, UN...""


September 19, 2013
Zimmerman prosecutor under state investigation

"It’s about time."


September 19, 2013
New Jersey Supreme Court says judge can’t be stand-up comedian, too

"Isn’t that cute?"


September 18, 2013
Ever wonder who’s responsible for making military bases gun-free zones?

"Answer: that other no-class, military-hating, lying-scumbag president."


September 18, 2013
Ann Curry dons head scarf to interview Iranian president

"Odd how deferential the media gets when they’re working with Muslims..."


September 18, 2013
Metaphor alert

"Obama’s pick for State Department security chief once shot himself in the foot."


September 18, 2013
Natural result of liberal thinking

"In Sweden, a judge has ruled it is not a crime to masturbate in public."


September 17, 2013
EU climate commissioner says policies right even if climate science wrong

"What, you thought these dumbasses would fold up their tents and go home..."


September 17, 2013
Green battery manufacturer closed by even-greener EPA

"...if only they weren’t using our money to do it."


September 17, 2013
High school textbook changes 2nd Amendment

"The statists control the textbooks and will make sure they raise new statists."


September 17, 2013
Navy Yard shooter was mentally ill and addicted to violent video games

"Just like the last two mass shootings..."


September 16, 2013
Lawyer suspended for calling an illegal alien an illegal alien

"Apparently, using correct terminology in Indiana is considered unnecessarily embarrassing."


September 16, 2013
Former NSA director wants Chinese-style Internet

"Anybody still unconvinced these people are the enemy of liberty?"


September 16, 2013
8-year-old Yemeni girl reportedly died of internal injuries on her wedding night

"Ah, the glories of Islam."


September 15, 2013
At Time magazine there is an honest cover for the world...

"and a different less-revealing cover for the U.S."


September 15, 2013
Book says Matthew Shephard tortured and murdered by gay lover

"So the sine qua non excuse for hate crime legislation across the U.S. wasn’t even a hate crime..."


September 15, 2013
Boston cabbie rant

"There’s no way to win around here. The whole city’s corrupt..."


September 15, 2013
Syria sending chemical weapons (back) to Iraq prior to U.N. inspections

"...a shell game with tin-pot Muslim dictators as the grifters..."


September 14, 2013
EPA offers lesson plans for middle-schoolers about Global Warming

"Because the earlier in a sheep’s life they start bathing him in propaganda..."


September 14, 2013
McCain is so pissed about Putin wrecking his new war...

"he’s attacking the Russian president in a column he’s writing for Pravda."


September 13, 2013
Study finds 114 out of 117 climate model predictions from 1990s were wrong

"And all 114 of those wrong predictions over-estimated the amount of warming."


September 13, 2013
Wisconsin teachers union decertified

"...when push came to shove only 37% of the teachers in Kenosha voted to reauthorize the union."


September 12, 2013
Took him exactly two weeks

"Weren’t we taking bets about how long Keith Olbermann would last at ESPN..."


September 12, 2013
Remember that Syria “expert” Kerry and McCain were citing?

"Turns out she also lied about having a PhD..."


September 12, 2013
Obama already arming rebels, Congress be damned

"...didn’t this strategy of aiding radical Islamists just fail miserably in Libya and Egypt?"


September 12, 2013
Pastor Terry Jones arrested en route to Koran-burning event

"Funny how liberals are never arrested on their way to flag-burning events..."


September 12, 2013
Blobfish voted world’s ugliest animal

"You can tell just by looking the blobfish is a Democrat."


September 11, 2013
Famous atheist Richard Dawkins defends “mild pedophilia”

"He says it didn’t cause him “lasting harm” to get a “mild touching up...”"


September 11, 2013
Syria untouched, Russian prestige enhanced, Obama claims victory

"...only a narcissist would attempt to give this fiasco a positive spin... so yes, Obama is claiming victory."


September 11, 2013
Chicago teachers’ pamphlet riddled with spelling and punctuation errors

"... Which pretty much explains why they sound ignorant and uneducated."


September 10, 2013
Washington Post calls Secretary of State John Kerry a liar

"He keeps making the claim..."


September 10, 2013
NBC’s Chuck Todd thinks Democrats who oppose action in Syria are principled...

"whereas Republicans who oppose action in Syria are just playing politics."


September 9, 2013
The dead children used by Obama as an excuse to bomb Syria are Alawites

"...they were kidnapped by the sunni jihadist rebels Obama wants to support."


September 9, 2013
Republican congressman wants to help Obama but White House won’t call him back

"WTF?!"


September 9, 2013
Mayor Cory Booker made $689,500 from law firm holding big city contracts

"Modern bribery is cleaner and easier than old-fashioned briefcases full of cash..."


September 8, 2013
Cold Arctic summer leads to record increase in polar ice cap

"Lest we forget, in December of 2009 Al Gore predicted an ice-free Arctic by 2014..."


September 8, 2013
Obama removed Bush-imposed restrictions on NSA

"It’s getting tougher and tougher for the Obama-meister to blame this scandal on Bush."


September 7, 2013
Just to help Congress decide on Syria...

"here’s a picture of the rebels blowing up our Capitol."


September 7, 2013
Obama arrives home from Russia... and goes golfing

"(the poor overworked bastard)"


September 7, 2013
U.S. military leaders embarrassed and repelled by Obama’s Syria plans

"Well, they share those sentiments with the rest of us."


September 7, 2013
Climate whackadoodles blame Syrian civil war on Global Warming

"So it’s our fault, don’t you see?"


September 7, 2013
Backlash!

"After six years of increasingly dysfunctional leftwing rule, conservatives swept into power today in Australia..."


September 7, 2013
This year, Germans will pay $26 billion for $4 billion worth of (green) electricity

"Obviously, the U.S. doesn’t have a monopoly on the glories of green energy."


September 6, 2013
Woman advising Kerry and McCain on Syria is paid advocate for Syrian rebels

"No wonder these old boneheads think the rebels are moderates..."


September 6, 2013
Feds have spent $2,202,873 studying why lesbians are fat

"Maybe they should listen to Michelle Obama and watch what they eat."


September 5, 2013
Meanwhile, a previous military intervention masterminded by Obama has gone to shit

"So much for cruise-missiling a country into radical Islamist hands..."


September 5, 2013
Russia gave UN 100-page report blaming Syrian rebels for March sarin attack

"The Russians submitted their report in July, before the current hullabaloo started..."


September 5, 2013
Maybe women really are better at multitasking

"A woman in China was pulled over... for breastfeeding her baby while driving a moped in city traffic."


September 4, 2013
McCain calls Chairman of the Joint Chiefs a liar

"...senile old video-poker addicts."


September 4, 2013
French President François Hollande is not the village idiot

"Regardless of how he looks in news service photos."


September 4, 2013
Al-Qaeda vows to slaughter Christians after U.S. liberates Syria

"...what is Barack Hussein Obama?"


September 4, 2013
Senator McCain plays video poker during Syria hearing

"Why not? Why listen to evidence? This is John McCain, folks!"


September 3, 2013
Did you know Turkey caught Syrian rebels with sarin gas back in May?

"This information is directly at odds with President Obama’s desire to bomb more Middle Easterners..."


September 2, 2013
The photograph John Kerry doesn’t want you to see

"...a convivial dinner in Damascus with Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad..."


September 2, 2013
Extreme Global Warming emergency affecting Peru and Bolivia

"...somehow, some way, this is caused by AGW – we just know it."


September 2, 2013
Nation’s only unionized strip joint closes

"San Francisco’s Lusty Lady peep show became a workers’ cooperative in 2003..."


September 2, 2013
Obama said “we would not put boots on the ground”

"...but the authorization he sent to Congress for approval says:"


September 1, 2013
Amateur Hour: Obama will seek congressional approval

"Let’s summarize..."


August 31, 2013
80-year-old weightlifter banned for doping

"Why does our government care if an 80-year-old is using steroids?"


August 30, 2013
Senate candidate Cory Booker and his imaginary friend T-Bone

"This guy will fit right in when he gets to Washington, D.C."


August 30, 2013
250,000 alpacas have frozen to death in Peru this year

"...this doggone Global Warming problem gets more devious and frightening all the time."


August 28, 2013
“Mildest summer in a century”

"We can’t wait to see how James Hansen and Michael Mann blame this on Global Warming."


August 28, 2013
“If the president bombs without congressional approval, I will move to impeach.”

"Guess which U.S. senator said that..."


August 28, 2013
U.S. government funding $313 million in mortgages...

"for Palestinians on West Bank."


August 28, 2013
Man on moped leads police on hour-long chase

"Living the dream, visions of Easy Rider in his head."


August 27, 2013
MSNBC host hangs up on conservative to avoid answering question

"Hugh Hewitt was asking her if Alger Hiss was a communist..."


August 26, 2013
France, Germany, the UK, and Obama decide Syria needs a serious response

"Which means Obama will have the U.S. Navy fire off two or three hundred million dollars..."


August 26, 2013
How whorish did Miley Cyrus act at the MTV Video Music Awards?

"Answer: look at the faces of the Will Smith family..."


August 26, 2013
Too much like a joke to be real

"(You couldn’t write this stuff.)"


August 26, 2013
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in Loch Ness...

"And no, this isn’t another Anthony Weiner story."


August 26, 2013
Colin Powell calls George Zimmerman verdict “questionable”

"Instead of asking this ignorant blowhard questions..."


August 24, 2013
The curious case of the DC voter named Barry Soetoro

"...who lives at the White House."


August 24, 2013
White House to hold closed-door session on bisexual issues

"Well of course it will be closed-door..."


August 24, 2013
Ron Paul to speak at anti-Semitic Holocaust-denying conference

"The former congresscritter will be the keynote speaker."


August 22, 2013
Gallup showing gigantic jump in the unemployment rate

"7.7% to 8.9% in 30 days..."


August 22, 2013
Detroit going to the dogs... literally

"...no doubt turning all the squirrels into nervous wrecks."


August 22, 2013
Bradley Manning wants to live as a woman now

"No big deal. The other inmates will probably take care of it for free."


August 21, 2013
Early hatchet job suggests Ted Cruz might be a contender

"Cruz wore a paisley robe in college! Egad!"


August 21, 2013
Oregon to “rehabilitate” businesses opposed to gay marriage

"They’re people involved in a revolution – a Cultural Revolution."


August 21, 2013
Million Muslim March versus 2 Million Bikers to DC

"This should be interesting..."


August 20, 2013
Clinton Foundation spent $50 million on travel expenses

"Is this really a charity, then, or a giant slush fund..."


August 19, 2013
In the Common Core curriculum that answer is okay

"So pretty soon all our kids will be liberals."


August 19, 2013
Impeach Obama protestors arrested for... well, just because

"Now we know where that rodeo clown went..."


August 19, 2013
Nannyism epidemic crosses the Hudson River

"Chris Christie signed into law today a bill banning conversion therapy for gay teenagers..."


August 19, 2013
City of Detroit opens a new water park...

"with no water in it."


August 18, 2013
What’s more fun than looking at old Global Warming predictions?

"This one is from 2007, predicting summer Arctic sea ice would be gone by 2013..."


August 18, 2013
Chinese zoo caught passing off a dog as a lion

"The jig was up when the lion started barking..."


August 17, 2013
Fifty-year increase in Canadian taxes = 1,787%

"When you see it in black and white like this, it shocks you."


August 16, 2013
Radio host suggests Obama was photoshopped into iconic Bin Laden Situation Room photo

"He’s got a point. (Talking about the radio guy, not Obama’s tiny head.)"


August 16, 2013
Shades of Jimmy Carter

"Oh, what better friend could an Arabian oil potentate have!"


August 16, 2013
Weiner dipping into the office pool?

"The more we learn about this guy, the skeevier he gets."


August 16, 2013
National debt remains exactly the same for three months

"Cynical louts might suspect the U.S. Treasury of lying..."


August 16, 2013
Iranian politician ruled too pretty to hold office

"We have the same problem here in the U.S. with Hillary Clinton..."


August 13, 2013
University study says actual U.S. federal debt is $70 trillion

"But only if you use Generally Accepted Accounting Principles..."


August 13, 2013
Whistleblower says 400 U.S. missiles stolen in Benghazi

"No wonder the Obama administration is tight-lipped about Benghazi..."


August 13, 2013
Swiss shop clerk says Oprah Winfrey is lying

"Poor girl doesn’t understand racial politics in the U.S. ..."


August 12, 2013
Competition for title of Most Loathsome News Organization is fierce

"Politico versus Huffington Post versus Associated Press..."


August 12, 2013
Eric Holder caught lying

"Again."


August 12, 2013
Creepy libs have their child pray to Barack Obama

"...does it really surprise us that liberals would take their sacrilege to this level?"


August 12, 2013
Federal judge strikes down another Bloomberg police state policy

"He’s probably throwing a giant control-freak temper tantrum right now..."


August 12, 2013
World Yo-Yo contest winner

"He has a bright future in politics – he spins better than a Barack Obama press secretary."


August 11, 2013
Meet Bill Killian, the asshat who sent an innocent man to prison for 15 years

"And take a good hard look at what gun control by the federal government looks like."


August 10, 2013
Largest conference ever devoted to female orgasm

"Sounds great – the “Stroking Clinics” sound especially edifying..."


August 10, 2013
Jason Richwine asks: Why can’t we talk about IQ?

"He wonders why journalists have a cow every time the subject arises..."


August 10, 2013
Prominent Muslim leader in UK charged with 1971 mass murders

"What exactly does “prominent Muslim leader” mean, anyway?"


August 10, 2013
Better read the fine print, Mr. Bank!

"Our new hero..."


August 9, 2013
Two Chicago congressmen on Robert Mugabe’s payroll

"Reps. Danny K. Davis and Bobby L. Rush are targets of the FBI’s investigation..."


August 9, 2013
Democrat senator from Hawaii threatened to molest a sheep in college?

"...screwing barnyard animals would be good practice for a future Democrat politician."


August 9, 2013
Famous atheist says Muslims peaked in the Dark Ages, haven’t done much since

"Twitter row ensues."


August 8, 2013
Al Sharpton accuses the NRA of wanting to shoot pandas

"Because that’s what passes for journalism at MSNBC."


August 8, 2013
Matt Damon out with another leftwing propaganda movie

"...instead of the next Bruce Willis he’s become the next Michael Moore."


August 8, 2013
Ebony magazine pays tribute to Trayvon Martin...

"with a quartet of covers calling for the repeal of Stand Your Ground laws."


August 7, 2013
Sharknado star Tara Reid goes on Discovery Channel to discuss sharks

"She expounded enthusiastically about her belief that whales and sharks have sex..."


August 7, 2013
Obama rebukes Putin by punishing Sweden

"...the Swedes are probably wondering, “Hey, what did we do wrong?”"


August 7, 2013
List of curious coincidences in Barack Obama’s life

"An eye-opening tour de force..."


August 6, 2013
The full Weiner experience

"Oh goody, Sydney Leathers made a sex tape..."


August 6, 2013
Attack of the luxury toilets

"Nobody can poop under those conditions."


August 6, 2013
ABC news editor switches genders, then switches back

"No wonder the news business is messed up."


August 5, 2013
RNC Chairman calls out NBC and CNN for promoting Hillary Clinton

"WTF? Did someone at the RNC finally grow a pair?"


August 5, 2013
First lab-grown burger eaten in London

"...the product doesn’t look like meat because it’s white so they add red coloring. Yummy."


August 5, 2013
Obama votes in chart form

REASONS PEOPLE VOTED FOR OBAMA


August 4, 2013
Serious terror threat forces U.S. to close overseas embassies

"As... our president was at Camp David golfing and partying..."


August 4, 2013
Naval Academy using Legos to teach weapons systems

"Three more years of Obama and the graduating midshipmen will have to build their own Lego ships..."


August 3, 2013
Arctic experiences very short summer

"We should have a contest... Winner gets lunch-and-a-massage with Al Gore."


August 3, 2013
The Old Gray Lady comes a cropper

"A lesson in obstinate liberal stupidity..."


August 3, 2013
13 armed men swarm animal shelter in Wisconsin to kill Bambi

"No, government isn’t out of control in this country..."


August 2, 2013
Baseball team salutes Anthony Weiner...

"with $1 hot dog night."


August 1, 2013
Hollywood and Hitler

"Nothing has changed in La-La Land."


August 1, 2013
Ball State University imposes gag order on faculty

"God forbid the students hear about a politically incorrect viewpoint..."


August 1, 2013
Democrats applaud John McCain

"Of course. Why wouldn’t they applaud?"


August 1, 2013
Wife Googling pressure cookers + husband Googling backpacks

"= black SUVs in the driveway."


August 1, 2013
Russia intends to prosecute gay participants at 2014 Winter Olympics

"Oh oh, now where will they find judges for the Ice Dancing events?"


July 31, 2013
After leaving Americans to die in Benghazi...

"Hillary Clinton will be honored with the American Patriot Award."


July 31, 2013
“Slutbag?“

"No doubt President Obama will be calling Olivia to offer sympathy..."


July 30, 2013
White House creates “nudge squad” to shape citizen behavior

"...we seem to recall that Hitler had a “nudge squad” 75 years ago..."


July 30, 2013
Congressional Black Caucus wants Sheila Jackson Lee to run Homeland Security

"Apparently Janet Napolitano left a legacy: dumb is what we want..."


July 29, 2013
Why are all the people leaving Detroit?

"Gee, maybe it has something to do with property tax rates..."


July 29, 2013
The greatest food in human history

"Hints: ...it’s available in 14,000 locations in the U.S. alone, and it costs $1."


July 29, 2013
Weiner’s paramour goes to the beach

"Seriously, what the hell is wrong with this guy?"


July 28, 2013
Weiner campaign manager withdraws

"But Weiner is holding firm."


July 28, 2013
Diplomatic security agent with shredded leg waited 20 hours on Benghazi roof for rescue

"While Obama campaigned in Las Vegas."


July 18, 2013
Olympic cheating scandal in rhythmic gymnastics

"Take rhythmic gymnastics out of the Olympics – it’s just dancing, people!"


July 18, 2013
“We refused to let Detroit go bankrupt!“

"Remember what Obama said about Detroit during last October’s debates?"


July 18, 2013
Reporter makes McCain look foolish...

"by asking him a simple question about his own immigration bill."


July 18, 2013
Norwegian woman raped in Dubai sentenced to 16 months

"That’s sharia law in action: ignorant, illogical, and backward."


July 17, 2013
Scientific study says semi-nude pictures of women are good for men’s health

"We knew it!"


July 17, 2013
Nancy Grace directs bigoted cheap shot at George Zimmerman

"HLN witch Grace responded with..."


July 17, 2013
Houston corset maker selling Perry voodoo dolls to benefit Planned Parenthood

"...those pro-abortion people are a whisker short of the dividing line between normal and batshit crazy."


July 16, 2013
Daily Beast nitwit contends black-on-black crime is a myth

"...our failing public school education system..."


July 16, 2013
Oh goody, Jesse Jackson wants a U.N. investigation

"Silly us."


July 15, 2013
Federal report finds problems with Michelle Obama’s school lunch program

"Gee whiz, nobody saw that coming."


July 15, 2013
U.S. repeals propaganda ban

"Now... we will be getting even more government spin on the news."


July 14, 2013
Well here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into!

"Obama screwed up all the military sexual assault cases by opening his big mouth..."


July 14, 2013
One day after Zimmerman verdict, Obama making political hay

"“Honor Trayvon by passing my gun control legislation.”"


July 14, 2013
To put things into perspective...

"in the 514 days since Trayvon died 565,914 black babies have been aborted."


July 14, 2013
Best news of the whole Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman tragedy

"It was wonderful to learn that reports of Chris Farley’s death were greatly exaggerated..."


July 13, 2013
Florida State Attorney Angela Corey fired whistleblower as soon as Zimmerman trial ended

"...so now that the trial is over and the media is paying less attention, Mr. Kruidbos will be destroyed."


July 13, 2013
Brand new snail slime facial available in Tokyo

"Apparently not all the stupid people in the world live in California."


July 12, 2013
“Global warming IS the reason…”

"Global warming is such a joke it now plays the part of boogeyman in low-budget science fiction movies..."


July 12, 2013
Janet Napolitano named as next president of the University of California system

"We checked to make sure: no, it is not April 1 today."


July 11, 2013
Another day, another sleazy Democrat politician in the news

"No word on whether he has plans to run for office in New York."


July 11, 2013
YMCA kicks out pro-life students

"Time to remove “Christian” from the name, folks, ’cause it no longer fits."


July 10, 2013
Rachel Maddow lies again – MSNBC has no comment

"Meanwhile, the parrots of the leftwing blogosphere are repeating her falsehood all over the Internet."


July 10, 2013
Danish immigration official to unhappy Muslims:

"Go and find somewhere else to live."


July 10, 2013
Cardinals ban cross

"There’s a headline we never thought we’d see."


July 9, 2013
Mass resignations at Al Jazeera

"...even Muslims can’t stand Al Jazeera."


July 9, 2013
Gang of Eight immigration plan designed by Communist Party

"...Rubio, McCain, and Ryan have jumped aboard the bandwagon like mindless victims from Night of the Living Dead."


July 8, 2013
Client No. 9 running for public office again

"As the republic crumbles, Democrats continue to make a mockery of the democratic process."


July 8, 2013
For the first time, more Americans on food stamps than working fulltime

"By golly, Obama promised a “transformation of America” and he delivered!"


July 7, 2013
Transit system bureaucrats rip out donated flowers

"Does the subway station belong to the bureaucrats or to the taxpayers?"


July 6, 2013
Obama golfs and Kerry kayaks while Egypt disintegrates

"Which is probably for the best. Anything these two morons think of..."


July 5, 2013
Chicago Tribune, USA Today, and LA Times refuse to run pro-life ad

"Next time you hear the newspapers complaining about lack of revenue..."


July 5, 2013
233 billion barrels of oil discovered in Australia’s outback

"...Peak Oil has been postponed another fifty years."


July 4, 2013
Now Latin America is pissed at him

"He better enjoy that trip to Africa – pretty soon there will be no place left in the world he can go."


July 4, 2013
Texas pro-abortionists too diabolical for real Satanists

"The wholesale killing of viable human babies is too much even for the Church of Satan."


July 4, 2013
“Turkey is not part of Europe.”

"...maybe the most politically incorrect words ever spoken by a government official..."


July 3, 2013
Obama already revising the history of his relationship with Egypt

" Now he says he was all about the human rights, not propping up Morsi with F-16s..."


July 3, 2013
Pro-abortion supporters chant “Hail Satan!” while pro-lifers sing Amazing Grace

"Hey, at least everybody is being open about who they represent down there at the Texas State Capitol..."


July 3, 2013
Anti-Obama hatred sweeps across Egypt

"And of course the mainstream media isn’t covering it..."


July 2, 2013
Italian scientist almost ready to do human head transplants

"This could rejuvenate Democrat Party hopes for the 2016 presidential election."


July 2, 2013
Australian journalist who wrote pro-gay story about two men having a baby with a Russian surrogate...

"is shocked – shocked! – to learn they were only interested in starting a pedophilia ring and making money."


June 30, 2013
House Oversight Committee estimates FHA losses of $115 billion

"So at least we’ve solved that problem..."


June 29, 2013
Facebook bans Fox News reporter for not being a liberal

"...are we all thoroughly sick and tired of Facebook yet?"


June 28, 2013
Middle-aged crossdresser arrested sneaking into female college dorm with hidden camera

"What’s the problem, California? Isn’t this what you wanted...?"


June 27, 2013
Banned in Britain

"In a sad day for the home of the Magna Carta, the UK has banned two more conservative Americans..."


June 27, 2013
Trayvon Martin’s girlfriend unable to read the letter she claims to have written

"This trial is a joke."


June 27, 2013
Women for Weiner

"...how many of them will have the guts to wear their “Woman for Weiner” button in public?"


June 26, 2013
Democrat congressman calls Clarence Thomas “Uncle Thomas”

"Harvard-educated Rep. Ryan Winkler (D-MN) quickly deleted his racist Tweet..."


June 26, 2013
DOJ defunded youth program for mentioning the word “God”

"...now that Eric Holder is running the Department of Justice, the oath is a problem."


June 25, 2013
Supreme Court strikes down Voting Rights Act

"Even a blind pig finds an acorn once in a while."


June 25, 2013
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad promises to return...

"when the “Hidden Imam” returns."


June 24, 2013
Silvio Berlusconi convicted – sentenced to seven years in prison

"Although she told everyone she was 24, she was actually 17..."


June 24, 2013
10 problems with the immigration bill

"...once again our congresscritters are shoving pork-laden bad legislation that nobody has read down our throats."


June 23, 2013
Twinkies are back!

"Minus 15,000 union workers who were bankrupting the company."


June 23, 2013
Now the Muslims have really done it

"...what can you say about people who can’t even get along with Buddhists?"


June 23, 2013
23 photos of Sasha & Malia in Ireland

"Can you find even one where they don’t look like bored, rude, spoiled little rich kids?"


June 21, 2013
Chelsea Clinton complains that her great grandmother didn’t have access to Planned Parenthood...

"apparently missing the logical connection to her own existence."


June 20, 2013
Birthrate in India about to plummet

"The Madras High Court just ruled that any couple having sex shall thenceforth be considered legally married..."


June 19, 2013
NTSB investigators claim official story about TWA Flight 800 is a lie

"To anyone who has followed the Flight 800 story over the years this is not a surprise."


June 18, 2013
Trial about eight-month erection results in hung jury

"Apparently, not enough jurors could understand how it was inconvenient."


June 17, 2013
Two men who are giving the Democrat Party much anxiety

"If this catches on..."


June 16, 2013
Chutzpah from the denizens of hell on Father’s Day

"Planned Parenthood says “Happy Father’s Day” even though their business is preventing fatherhood."


June 16, 2013
Boy Scouts lead Gay Pride Parade in Salt Lake City

"What? You thought the gays were done forcing their agenda on the Boy Scouts?"


June 15, 2013
Pakistan hates gays but loves gay porn

"Luckily, as Muslims they’re used to logical inconsistency."


June 13, 2013
Afghanistan parliament rejects measure to stop grown men from marrying little girls

"They decided banning pedophilia would run counter to Islamic theology."


June 13, 2013
Glenn Beck announced another momentous disclosure

"While we’re waiting, Glenn, some reading you might find useful: The Boy Who Cried Wolf by Aesop."


June 13, 2013
Demonstrating the meaning of the word “dumb”

"Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA) stated that South Dakota shares a border with Canada."


June 12, 2013
Guess what book is rocketing up the Amazon sales ranks

"1984 by George Orwell, of course."


June 12, 2013
NSA has built-in backdoor to all Windows software

"If this revelation doesn’t send Microsoft sales into a tailspin then Al Gore isn’t fat."


June 11, 2013
Whistle-blower Edward Snowden left more than his family behind

"He also left his pole-dancer girlfriend."


June 11, 2013
Another electric car company declares bankruptcy

"Sub-headline: Another “Green” Entrepreneur Looks Foolish."


June 10, 2013
Rangel is okay with NSA spying as long as Obama is president

"A lack of principles, malfunctioning neurons in his brain, or simple racism?"


June 9, 2013
Obama says Senate immigration bill requires that illegals learn English

"It doesn’t."


June 8, 2013
What will the human species look like in 100,000 years?

"...the way Obama is taking the nation, the second picture should have bar codes on foreheads and metal shock collars around their necks."


June 7, 2013
Obama faces audience with no speech

"He’ll probably have nightmares for weeks."


June 7, 2013
Northeast Colorado counties considering forming a new state

"Who is John Galt?"


June 6, 2013
Four Obama scandals have broken in recent weeks...

"not one of them by the mainstream media."


June 6, 2013
Congressman wants to require military chaplains for atheists

"Another day, another example of stupidity by a Democrat."


June 5, 2013
Inspector General finds hidden man caves in EPA warehouse

"...don’t be surprised if it was charged to Richard Windsor‘s credit card."


June 5, 2013
He’s baaaaack!

"Keith Olbermann has a new job..."


June 5, 2013
Lindsey Graham wonders if the First Amendment applies to bloggers

"And we wonder if everyone in D.C. has the IQ of a fruit fly."


June 5, 2013
Stupidest question in the House since Hank Johnson wondered if Guam would tip over

"Rep. Jim McDermott (D-Wash.)..."


June 4, 2013
Latest sign of the apocalypse

" A former member of SEAL Team 6 took hormones, became a transgendered woman..."


June 3, 2013
EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson’s fake email identity was so good...

"it received employee awards."


June 3, 2013
Israeli soldiers post underwear photos on Facebook

"If this is a recruiting tactic... good idea."


June 2, 2013
Muslim doctor single-handedly starts polio pandemic

"Polio was almost eradicated worldwide when Ibrahim Datti Ahmed... decided polio vaccines were a Western conspiracy..."


June 2, 2013
Patient dies after EPA mandated device shuts down ambulance

"If we don’t get rid of the EPA, the whole United States will be eligible for a Darwin Award someday."


June 1, 2013
Miami congressman’s chief of staff resigns over election fraud charges

"The congressman is a Democrat, of course..."


May 31, 2013
Meet the dork who bugged Mitch McConnell’s office

"His name is Curtis Morrison and he’s the perfect storm of liberal dysfunction..."


May 31, 2013
Google chairman bankrolled tech shop exclusively for Democrats

"Will the FEC sic a Lois Lerner-type pitbull on them?"


May 31, 2013
Just in case you were thinking about watching the new Will Smith movie...

"be forewarned: After Earth is a Scientology propaganda flick."


May 30, 2013
Liberals openly embrace their eugenics roots

"...they like the idea of people aborting unwanted female and dark-skinned babies!"


May 30, 2013
Giant pink slugs roaming around Mount Kaputar in Australia

"How long before Anthony Weiner starts Tweeting photos of this thing?"


May 29, 2013
Kennedy loved Hitler

"You won’t read about this in the mainstream media, of course..."


May 28, 2013
While Eric Holder’s Justice Department was spying on Fox News...

"the Chinese were stealing all our military secrets."


May 28, 2013
Couple plans underwater dolphin-assisted birth

"What could go wrong?"


May 27, 2013
Transgendered “woman” lies like a rug at New Jersey senate hearing

"“They electrocuted me like a dog,” was one assertion..."


May 27, 2013
Global Warming strikes again

"That’s upper New York, yesterday. Three feet of snow."


May 26, 2013
IRS scandal’s astonishing revelation

"That Inspector General investigation? The IG allowed an IRS director to sit in on 36 of 41 employee interviews..."


May 26, 2013
Obama calls Oklahoma tornado toll “hard to comprehend”

"And he should know about tornado tolls being hard to comprehend..."


May 25, 2013
Weiner slips up

"Already experiencing electoral dysfunction..."


May 25, 2013
“Why are you standing so close to me?”

"Snooki and New Jersey’s Governor Christie had a little tiff at the Jersey Shore yesterday..."


May 23, 2013
Where does he find these people?

"...why in the bloody hell does he have a hairdo like a Russian grandmother?"


May 23, 2013
Dim-witted BBC editor apologizes for offending Muslims...

"during his broadcast story about two Muslims hacking the head off a British soldier."


May 23, 2013
A sad day for Boy Scouts of America

"At their national council today in Dallas, the 103-year-old organization voted to allow openly gay members..."


May 22, 2013
Lois Lerner also harassed conservatives when she worked at the Federal Election Commission

"...Mr. President! This is your kind of gal!"


May 22, 2013
Angry midget loses it at Madison Square Garden

"I asked a friend who was with me, ‘Did the mayor just threaten me?’"


May 22, 2013
Local Fox station traces Cincinnati IRS skullduggery to one woman

" Her name is Cindy Thomas and she’s also the woman who delivered information about conservative organizations to George Soros’ ProPublica outfit..."


May 22, 2013
Michelle Obama considering spending the summer on Martha’s Vineyard

"Exhausted after three months – three months, poor woman – without a vacation..."


May 20, 2013
Did the invention of guns cause murder rates to increase?

"Nope."


May 20, 2013
Three years after filing, True the Vote’s Catherine Engelbrecht is still waiting for tax exempt status

"She must be doing something right."


May 19, 2013
“Staple non-blurry photo of a yeti to the back of Form 3-4-32-7.”

"It’s fun watching the mainstream media suddenly wake up, isn’t it?"


May 17, 2013
Creepy Peeping Tom artist selling photos of his neighbors inside their own apartments

"And the prices are steep..."


May 17, 2013
Burglars in Houston stuff homeowner in a closet

"Unfortunately for the burglars, the closet was a gun closet."


May 16, 2013
IRS executive responsible for tax exempt scandal got huge bonuses and a promotion

"Now Sarah Hall Ingram is in charge of IRS enforcement of Obamacare. No, sorry, this isn’t a joke."


May 15, 2013
As IRS scandal snowballs, Wayne Root feels vindicated

"Root has been trying to tell people since January of 2011 that Obama sicced the IRS on him for revenge."


May 15, 2013
Poop foam causing explosions on hog farms

"The manure pits underneath Midwest hog finishing barns are... sometimes exploding. Which the hogs bitterly resent."


May 14, 2013
Obama’s IRS hit team came after Billy Graham, too!

"The timing was probably just a coincidence."


May 14, 2013
Meanwhile, Obama’s shady brother’s charity got the fastest tax exemption in history

"...the Barack H. Obama Foundation filed its application three years late and the IRS approved it 27 days later."


May 14, 2013
Reporter who asked Obama tough questions getting “hammered” by the IRS

"Since then, the IRS is all over Mr. Conners. Probably just a coincidence..."


May 13, 2013
Venture capital firm Kleiner Perkins learns an age-old lesson:

"get in bed with a whore and your wallet will be missing in the morning."


May 13, 2013
U.N. says, “Let them eat bugs!”

"Please, God, don’t let Mayor Bloomberg hear about this."


May 12, 2013
The presidents of both ABC News and CBS News have siblings working in the White House...

"Gee whiz, why won’t the mainstream media cover Benghazi?"


May 12, 2013
Glacier attack in Minnesota

"Let it serve as a warning to anyone who thinks global warming is a bigger worry than the next ice age."


May 12, 2013
The 10 creepiest teachers who allegedly molested or tried to bang students last month

"What is this? An epidemic of depravity?"


May 11, 2013
New York bakery creates 36,000-calorie cupcake

"They named it the “Mayor Bloomberg.”"


May 10, 2013
New York nanny-dictators go after the butter

"School kitchen managers who defied the bureaucracy by ordering butter for cooking..."


May 10, 2013
Vampires in Ohio

"Two abortion clinics..."


May 9, 2013
Tweet of the century

"If they ever decide to give Pulitzer Prizes for Twitter ripostes..."


May 8, 2013
Headline News and CNN do split-screen interview with anchors in same parking lot

"But hey, we get it, we really do. Walking over and talking face to face wouldn’t have been as impressive..."


May 7, 2013
Marco Rubio’s chief of staff worked for George Soros

"Now you know why the new senator from Florida is such a disappointment."


May 7, 2013
Drone operator tells Sean Hannity Benghazi attack was known about hours before it happened

"It was known prior to us even taking off... that something might go down or is going down."


May 7, 2013
Internet gunsmiths uploaded video of 3D-printed gun safely firing

"Almost simultaneously, Sen. Chucky Schumer called for banning 3D-printed handguns..."


May 7, 2013
Democrat listed twice on today’s special election ballot

"And the bureaucrats running the election... see nothing wrong with that."


May 6, 2013
NY Times sends lackeys to erase Islam from Boston bombing story

"...it fell to a UK tabloids like The Sun to conduct an interview with the ex-girlfriend..."


May 6, 2013
The United Nations Twitter account is following “Big Busty” porn star

"Good to see them using the $7 billion we pay them every year so wisely."


May 6, 2013
An earthquake is predicted for Tehran...

"and a Muslim cleric blames it on the way women dress."


May 5, 2013
42,000 Canadians left the country to get medical care last year

"Another year, another ringing endorsement for socialized medicine."


May 5, 2013
Occupy Portland worships golden bull on May Day

"Just in case anyone doubted their movement’s satanic roots..."


May 4, 2013
Local TV reporter too stupid to know what hammer and sickle flags mean

"I haven’t seen any of those flags. What do they represent?"


May 4, 2013
Vultures eat French tourist

"Everyone is optimistically assuming she was dead from the fall when the vultures arrived..."


May 3, 2013
Rat meat being sold as lamb

"Hey, meat is meat, right?"


May 2, 2013
30 of the FBI’s 31 Most Wanted Terrorists are Muslim

"So much for all those dangerous anti-government Tea Party folks."


May 1, 2013
Brawl erupts in Venezuelan parliament

"Don’t they realize Jimmy Carter pronounced the Venezuelan election process fair and honest?"


April 30, 2013
Pro-gun billboard causing a stir in Colorado

"Some people object to history lessons taken in context."


April 30, 2013
“Maybe I should just pack up and go home… golly!”

"Finally the man has a good idea!"


April 29, 2013
Chris Matthews is getting that “thrill up his leg” again

"This time with Al Sharpton..."


April 29, 2013
Twice as much time on vacation and golf

"...the final tally was 976 hours golfing and vacationing, 474.4 hours spent on the economy."


April 28, 2013
How dumb is the White House Correspondents Dinner?

"This is a list of suggested questions left behind by a reporter from Politico..."


April 28, 2013
NBC News sends Chelsea Clinton to interview… the GEICO gecko

"Nothing like a hard hitting interview to demonstrate your journalistic chops."


April 27, 2013
Scientific American compares carbon dioxide to 9/11 attacks

"When CO2 levels reach 400 parts per million, that will be comparable..."


April 26, 2013
Incarcerated gang leader fathered five kids with four different female prison guards

"This must be what they mean by “doing hard time.”"


April 26, 2013
Three men deported from Saudi Arabia for being too handsome

"Yet another reason I can’t go there."


April 25, 2013
Invasion of the robot noodle peelers

"...thousands of food prep jobs are threatened. Alas."


April 25, 2013
Al-Qaeda video shows 5-year-olds being trained to kill

"Once these little squirts are transformed into finely honed killers..."


April 24, 2013
Australian Intelligence Officer disciplined for discussing Islam

"Silly man – what were you thinking?"


April 23, 2013
State of Washington officially changes “penmanship” to “handwriting”

"...because everything must be gender neutral."


April 23, 2013
Geraldo Rivera apologizes to Muslims for Boston Marathon bombings

"One more reason to hate the media."


April 22, 2013
Georgetown University admittance processor trashed applications from white males

"Any of those I saw went straight to the garbage can regardless of how good their qualifactions were..."


April 22, 2013
GLAAD banned a gay novelist from their awards event

"Hollywood’s propaganda ministry banned Bret Easton Ellis because he doesn’t always adhere to official gay doctrine..."


April 21, 2013
Glenn Beck threatens the government

"Monday should be an interesting day..."


April 20, 2013
World’s oldest person celebrates 116th birthday

"Best wishes Mr. Kimura! Here’s hoping you’re the one who finally breaks through the Genesis 6:3 barrier."


April 20, 2013
Divine irony?

"Muslim jihad terrorist Dzhokhar Tsarnaev is being treated at Beth Israel Hospital."


April 19, 2013
Interview with bombing suspects’ uncle

"This is what we’ve been wanting from mainstream Muslims for years..."


April 19, 2013
Meet Joe Berti, the man who experienced both the Boston and the Texas explosions

"And he doesn’t have a scratch on him..."


April 18, 2013
The Democrat Party Timeline of Ignominy

"It’s like a traveling back in time… in a time machine stuck in a manure pit."


April 16, 2013
That Global Warming thing? Turns out CO2 isn’t the primary culprit

"Now they tell us."


April 16, 2013
President Obama is not sending anybody to Margaret Thatcher’s funeral

"He’s too busy himself, what with all that golf on his schedule..."


April 15, 2013
Did you notice who was celebrating with Adam Scott when he won the Masters?

"That’s Steve Williams, long-time Tiger Woods caddy..."


April 14, 2013
French research suggests women are better off not wearing bras

"It’s not often IHTM takes an official position on scientific research but... we agree."


April 14, 2013
100 years ago Thursday, progressive Democrat Woodrow Wilson re-segregated the federal government

"Just one of those little anniversaries people tend to miss..."


April 13, 2013
Federal study concludes 2012 drought NOT caused by Global Warming

"Now what are they going to use for an excuse?"


April 13, 2013
New York town makes veterans remove “Don’t Tread On Me” flag

"...they accused the veterans of flying a Tea Party flag."


April 12, 2013
U.S. Senator Chris Murphy asks Fox not to broadcast tomorrow’s NASCAR race...

"because the race at Texas Motor Speedway is sponsored by the NRA..."


April 11, 2013
The long list of terrorists hired by American universities

"Why?"


April 11, 2013
Super PAC that bugged Mitch McConnell’s campaign office...

"is the same leftwing group that Tweeted racial slurs about his wife last month."


April 10, 2013
Look who’s copying IHTM

"The Drudge Report no less..."


April 10, 2013
Governor of Maryland endorses chicken shit

"Gov. Martin O’Malley (Democrat of course) has decided to turn chicken waste into electricity..."


April 9, 2013
Australian scientific study proves that women like men with larger

"...uh, protuberantial physical characteristics."


April 9, 2013
Oh those horrible painful sequester cuts

"President and Mrs. Obama will have another party tonight..."


April 8, 2013
Naked Ukrainian women attack Putin and Merkel

"Merkel seems horrified, Putin seems amused."


April 7, 2013
USA is the only major industrialized nation to meet Kyoto goal

"And we did it accidentally... We’ve gone green by going in the red."


April 7, 2013
The one million dollar bus stop

"Total price: $20.8 million for 24 bus stops."


April 7, 2013
“Extremely liberal” professor arrested three times in March

"...two dozen child pornography counts..."


April 7, 2013
Conservative philanthropist smacks down liberals at liberal-arts college

"How Not to Raise Money for Higher Education."


April 6, 2013
Columbia professor equates his incest with daughter with homosexual sex

""How is this so different?”"


April 6, 2013
Weiner inserts himself into NY mayor race

"Look at that, Weiner rises again..."


April 5, 2013
ABC News broadcasts jobs numbers ahead of official announcement

"...misses by 116%."


April 5, 2013
A new kind of beauty?

"Think of it as a game: correctly identify gender and you win."


April 4, 2013
Slate columnist says high school kid who asked Kate Upton to prom

"...is like a rapist."


April 4, 2013
City of Phoenix recruiting minority lifeguards

"...even if they can’t swim."


April 2, 2013
Obama proposes $100M brain mapping project

"One too many cabinet meetings with Joe Biden present leads to exasperation and a quest for answers."


April 2, 2013
Malcolm in the middle

"A prosecutor with a sense of humor. Who knew it was possible?"


April 2, 2013
University compares pro-life students to white supremacists

"Johns Hopkins denied a pro-life student group status as an official club because they don’t like their views..."


April 1, 2013
Obama moves remnants of F-22 program he gutted to South Korea

"...two weeks after moving remnants of anti-missile program he also gutted to Alaska."


April 1, 2013
Climate scientists decide expansion of Antarctic sea ice is caused by Global Warming

"Modern science is easy..."


April 1, 2013
White House unknowingly plays April Fools joke

"Somebody in the White House has a twisted sense of humor... or they really are that dumb."


March 31, 2013
President Obama attends Easter service where pastor calls conservatives racist

"This is an Easter sermon?"


March 31, 2013
Another sign of impending apocalypse?

"Don’t laugh, this is serious..."


March 30, 2013
Here’s why you hate your cable company


March 30, 2013
It’s the cold, not global warming, that should worry us

"If you plotted those stats on a chart, would it look like a hockey stick?"


March 29, 2013
History lesson about the racist past of the Democrat Party

"Make the Democrats own their history. They don’t like it very much, and who can blame them?"


March 28, 2013
Study finds Community Reinvestment Act did, in fact, lead to the financial crisis

"Most IHTM readers already know this, but it’s good to review the facts..."


March 28, 2013
The UK horsemeat scandal goes from bad to worse

"DNA testing of the meat in an Indian restaurant’s lamb curry found no trace of lamb..."


March 27, 2013
John Kerry’s career ends up where it started

"...with false public testimony about American military atrocities."


March 27, 2013
Christians nearly wiped out in Middle East and North Africa

"This is why the first crusade was called by Pope Urban II in 1095."


March 26, 2013
Student who refused to stomp Jesus brought up on academic charges

"This is a college with schizophrenia..."


March 26, 2013
Prominent Jew banned by Libyan government he helped put in power

"Hey, Jewish liberals, how’s that Arab Spring working out for you?"


March 25, 2013
How stupid is Bill Maher?

"This stupid..."


March 25, 2013
U.S. Border Patrol uniforms now manufactured in Mexico

"Nobody involved... stopped to think that an unlimited supply of Border Patrol uniforms in Mexico might be problematic?"


March 24, 2013
Harvard stripped of quiz tournament titles for cheating

"Sound like any other Harvard graduate you know?"


March 24, 2013
Stepdad of 15-year-old raped her for years and murdered her baby

"...Islamic court sentences her to flogging for having sex outside marriage."


March 23, 2013
Naked human bodies jumping up and down at 2000FPS

"How many of these ugly naked people are Democrat politicians?"


March 23, 2013
More people have cellphones than toilets

"Maybe the U.S. government should stop handing out Obama phones and start handing out Obama toilets..."


March 22, 2013
President Obama needs a geography lesson

"Look at the map..."


March 22, 2013
Barack Obama in the Middle East


March 21, 2013
Governor Cuomo forced to ease gun legislation he just passed

"Obamacare was The Hangover and New York’s anti-gun legislation is The Hangover Part II."


March 20, 2013
Bolshoi Ballet has been turned into a giant brothel

"In other words, the Bolshoi is Russia’s version of Hollywood."


March 20, 2013
Yesterday’s AP story about Rand Paul endorsing amnesty for illegal aliens?

"Totally untrue."


March 20, 2013
UK schools ban best friends

"...isn’t it nice to see that UK educators are as stupid as ours?"


March 19, 2013
Cable networks air 16-year-old rape victim’s name

"Now she’s receiving death threats."


March 19, 2013
Caving to gay pressure, Chipotle abandons Boy Scouts

"That thud you just heard was the sound of Utah Chipotle sales hitting the floor."


March 18, 2013
If the devil had a son

"...would he look like Barack Obama?"


March 18, 2013
Islamists hide bomb in Quran

"Turns out you can do anything you want with the damn things."


March 17, 2013
Look who’s attacking the Dems’ new budget plan

"Ouch. Harry Reid is probably on the phone to the newspaper right now..."


March 16, 2013
Lockheed Martin throws dirt on Malthus’s grave

"Now sit back and watch the deserts turn green while human-hating lefties see red."


March 16, 2013
Honeymoon is over for Ashley Judd

"As Homer Simpson would say: “D’oh!”"


March 15, 2013
Keith Olbermann claims nobody will hire him

"Show of hands if you’re not surprised."


March 15, 2013
Bad day for roosters

"That’s how much they hate heterosexuality in San Francisco."


March 14, 2013
Britain’s first Muslim life peer suspended from Parliament for anti-Semitic remarks

"What’s that old saying about putting lipstick on a pig?"


March 13, 2013
President Obama invites Miss Israel to dinner

"Finally the guy makes a savvy foreign policy move."


March 13, 2013
New pope could mean trouble for Nancy Pelosi

"Also for Kathleen Sebelius, Joe Biden, and any other liberal who pretends to be Catholic for convenience..."


March 13, 2013
Ukrainian killer dolphins escape

"...how long before the Obama administration declares this “Ukrainian Spring” and sends them money and weapons?"


March 12, 2013
Rumor is the Koch Brothers are trying to buy the Los Angeles Times

"...and the leftwing editorial department is already having a cow."


March 12, 2013
Air Force chaplain earns Bronze Star for Muslim sensitivity training

"And we thought John Kerry’s medals were suspect."


March 11, 2013
Yesterday’s ostrich races in Chandler, Arizona

"No word on whether ostrich-fan John Boehner was in attendance..."


March 10, 2013
Female MMA fighter was a man until 2006

"No wonder she doesn’t hit like a girl."


March 10, 2013
Chinese officials find 900 3,000 13,000 dead pigs floating in the Huangpu River

"...yes, there is a free lunch!"


March 9, 2013
86-year-old World War II sniper earns U.S. Army Marksmanship Unit’s coveted black hat

"...an 86-year-old shooting that good is “Nuts!”"


March 9, 2013
Juan Williams blames researcher for plagiarism

"...it’s not whether you plagiarize, but who."


March 9, 2013
Democrat school board member is a pimp

"Sadly, the children of Moreno Valley will no longer have the benefit of his wisdom and experience..."


March 7, 2013
Dumbest chart ever displayed in Senate

"...followed by the chart Lindsay Graham should have used."


March 7, 2013
John Kerry and Michelle Obama decide to honor Samira Ibrahim as “Woman of Courage”

"...until the Weekly Standard points out that she’s an anti-Semitic terrorism lover who quotes Adolf Hitler."


March 3, 2013
Joe Biden says Americans aren’t allowed to own tanks

"...so the Wall Street Journal publishes an article about private tank owners."


March 3, 2013
Media outraged about “lying whore” governor being called a “lying whore”

"Notice they don’t question the group’s accuracy."


March 3, 2013
“If you’re bashful I got a snake sitting under my desk here.”

"Those are the words uttered by Connecticut state representative Ernest Hewett..."


March 2, 2013
JPMorgan gold vault linked by tunnel to New York Fed gold vault

"Hmm..."


March 2, 2013
Bloggers were paid big money to write about Malaysia

"We here at IHTM just want to say... isn’t Malaysian model Ling Tan beautiful?"


March 1, 2013
Al Qaeda publishes “Ten Most Wanted: Dead or Alive” list

"Otherwise known as the “Ten Heroes of Western Civilization” list..."


March 1, 2013
Maxine Waters says sequestration will cost 170 million jobs

"That’s approximately 20 million more than the entire U.S. labor force..."


February 28, 2013
Liberal New York alderman does Chicken Dance

"...Alderman David Marstan quickly back-tracked..."


February 27, 2013
Man follows Biden’s advice, gets arrested

"Moral of this story (like so many stories): Joe Biden is a dumbass."


February 27, 2013
Dog shoots man

"They can’t blame this one on lack of background checks..."


February 26, 2013
John Kerry to Germans: Americans have “right to be stupid.”

"It’s nice to have a Secretary of State who backs his words with personal example."


February 26, 2013
Oops, Obama’s Organizing For Action forgot to register domain name

"So an enterprising fellow named Derek Bovard..."


February 25, 2013
Brooklyn Democrat hosts party wearing blackface

"I was just, I think, I was trying to emulate, you know, maybe some of these basketball players..."


February 25, 2013
FujiFilm has new material that generates electricity from the human body

"...Michael Moore and Al Gore will finally be worthwhile human beings."


February 24, 2013
Pro-American vs. anti-American at the box office

"Guess which one did seven times better at the box office?"


February 24, 2013
Stalker teacher harassed, assaulted, and threatened another teacher

"...but the teachers’ union said the Department of Education could not fire him."


February 23, 2013
Egypt flooding Hamas smuggling tunnels with raw sewage

"“Why did they do this?” said Palestinian smuggler Abu Mutair Shalouf..."


February 23, 2013
Whole Foods removes chicken ad after complaints

"The ad featured a man resembling Obama..."


February 22, 2013
Rand Paul puts the money where his mouth is

"He’ll be sending a $600,000 check to the U.S. Treasury..."


February 22, 2013
Cubans refuse to play with Korean balls

"Knowing the Cubans, their balls were manufactured by Russia back in the 1960s..."


February 21, 2013
Bill Maher, racist pig

"How anyone can stomach this condescending ignorant jackass is a mystery..."


February 21, 2013
Cubans refuse to play with Korean balls

"Knowing the Cubans, their balls were manufactured by Russia back in the 1960s."


February 20, 2013
Obama administration officials secretly visited North Korea three times

"“What’s he up to now?” you ask. Don’t worry about it..."


February 19, 2013
Three cheers for John David Dyche

"All it takes is one person pointing a finger and speaking the truth..."


February 19, 2013
Columbia professor strips in front of class to teach quantum mechanics

"Yes, now you understand: this is where they come from."


February 19, 2013
The congressional race from hell

"In the special election for South Carolina’s 1st congressional district..."


February 19, 2013
‘Super mega-pod’ of 100,000 dolphins spotted off San Diego coast

"Are the dolphins leaving California now, too?"


February 18, 2013
AP retracts Rand Paul story

"...after reporting the opposite of what he said."


February 18, 2013
Did Saturday Night Live produce the most offensive sketch in TV history?

"We’re guessing the Obama administration won’t arrest anybody for this video."


February 16, 2013
Researcher claims to have shot and killed a sasquatch

"Has anyone seen Barney Frank since he retired?"


February 16, 2013
Muslims decapitate cat, brag about it on Internet

"...young Muslims in Sweden practice cutting off heads."


February 15, 2013
Field & Stream, too?

"Are all periodicals staffed by flaming libtards?"


February 15, 2013
92% of Pakistanis disapprove of America

"Up 38 points since Obama took office."


February 14, 2013
Leftwing electric car company shocked to learn leftwing New York Times lies

"Hey Tesla, now you know why we hate the media..."


February 13, 2013
In spite of what you hear, the poor are getting richer

"It's a Canadian study, but you can bet the results would be the same in the U.S."


February 13, 2013
Underwater critter has disposable penis

"Chromodoris reticulata... throws its penis down on the ocean floor and stalks away."


February 12, 2013
God not all that happy about Pope’s resignation

"Or maybe He just learned that Piers Morgan is a Catholic..."


February 11, 2013
Piers Morgan, world’s first Pope truther

"After all, Piers says, the Queen of England hasn’t resigned..."


February 11, 2013
New York lawmaker used taxpayer money to buy clothes for her poodle

"Because her own clothes were perfectly spiffy."


February 10, 2013
Who does the foreign press consider important in U.S. politics?

"Barack, Michelle, and Sarah Palin..."


February 10, 2013
Nominee scheduled to be lone woman in Obama’s cabinet is a Brit

"Apparently no American-born women are worthy..."


February 9, 2013
Dan Rather still thinks forged Bush memos are real

"Is there an adjective in the English language adequate to the task of describing how stupid this man is?"


February 8, 2013
This is Melowese Richardson

"Melowese is an Ohio poll worker who admits voting twice for Obama in the last election..."


February 7, 2013
News media scrubs manifesto of suspect in LA killing rampage

"Turns out he’s pro-Obama, pro-Hillary, pro-MSNBC, pro-CNN, pro-gay, loves Piers Morgan..."


February 7, 2013
Man claims IRS agent coerced him into sex

"...once the IRS is after you, you’re gonna get screwed one way or another."


February 6, 2013
If imaginary guns and grenades get grade schoolers kicked out of school...

"...then why is Joe Biden allowed to shoot François Hollande, the president of France, with a finger gun?"


February 6, 2013
Now that the Justice Dept. released its memo justifying assasination of American citizens...

"...let’s take another look at the assasination by drone of 16-year-old Aabdulrahman al-Awlaki..."


February 5, 2013
HookerGate gets better

"Now there’s pictures..."


February 5, 2013
Obama misses budget deadline. Again.

"...his first budget was 98 days late."


February 4, 2013
Texas 6th graders designing socialist flags

"Just what we needed: another reason to hate public schools."


February 4, 2013
War in Saudi Arabia

"Large groups of baboons have invaded a village called Al Qunfudah..."


February 3, 2013
Saudi cleric’s fatwa requires veils on babies

"According to Sheikh Abdullah Daoud, baby girls need to be veiled..."


February 3, 2013
What does “ATF” stand for?

"Absolute Total Fools?"


February 2, 2013
This person votes


February 1, 2013
They’re still messing with George Zimmerman

"Prosecutors finally let his defense attorney see Trayvon Martin’s cellphone info..."


February 1, 2013
NBC edits another tape

"They apparently didn’t learn their lesson after getting caught editing George Zimmerman’s 911 call..."


January 31, 2013
Twitter censors black pro-lifers

"What were they thinking? Black people aren’t allowed to criticize the left!"


January 31, 2013
Catholic diocese disinvites speaker on Islam after Muslims bellyache

"That's not the worst part..."


January 31, 2013
Muslim who raped 13-year-old avoids prison because...

"...he “did not know” it was illegal to rape 13-year-olds. Seriously."


January 30, 2013
New Republic falls for phony photo of Obama skeet shooting

"The photo shows a gun photoshopped in place of a golf club..."


January 30, 2013
Media given propaganda instructions at Obamacare seminar

"Selected media bitches of SABEW dutifully assembled..."


January 29, 2013
ObamaCare Survival Guide hits New York Times bestseller list

"Now we need ObamaCare manuals to supplement our income tax manuals..."


January 29, 2013
Arab Spring turns into Arab Winter

"President Mohammed Morsi has declared a state of emergency in Egypt..."


January 28, 2013
Boy Scouts about to end ban on gay leaders

"Because, let’s face it, the man we want camping in the woods with our son..."


January 28, 2013
Martha Raddatz and her Bizarro interview with Sen. Bob Menendez

"She asked questions for six minutes... but never broached the issue of underage Dominican hookers."


January 27, 2013
Photos of Iran’s machine for amputating fingers

"Doesn’t that thing look like it should be in your garage sawing plywood?"


January 26, 2013
Topless Ukrainian women invade Davos

"Finally, a cause we can all grasp."


January 26, 2013
Obama hasn’t filed legally required quarterly stimulus report since 2011

"Wouldn’t you think the mainstream media would be curious about what happened to $831 billion?"


January 25, 2013
Networks cover giant pro-life rally without using the word “life”

"Everything is a propaganda war now..."


January 24, 2013
Required military equipment now that women are frontline combat troops?

"It’s called a GoGirl..."


January 24, 2013
Lego accused of racism for Jabba the Hutt palace

"The Turkish Cultural Community claims the Lego palace was based on the Hagia Sophia mosque in Istanbul..."


January 23, 2013
18 of 27 worst bosses on Capitol Hill are Democrats

"And Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee is the very worst..."


January 23, 2013
Sponsors dropping out of America’s largest outdoor sports show

"The Eastern Sports and Outdoor Show is run by Brits..."


January 22, 2013
Inaugural prayer pointedly leaves out “under God”

"...one nation, indivisible..."


January 22, 2013
Paul Ryan booed at inaugural celebration

"The booing was started by Dan Freeman, an Obama appointee..."


January 21, 2013
Did Michelle rent a Chinese communist costume...

"at the Halloween store for today’s inauguration?"


January 21, 2013
Yet another lovestruck CNN reporter

"...here’s co-worker Jim Acosta waxing bromantic as the president walks by..."


January 20, 2013
CBS political news director advises Obama to destroy Republicans

"Knowing CBS, when they hear about this they’ll promote him."


January 19, 2013
Obsessed stalker correspondent at CNN wrote President Obama 1,460 letters

"And Obama didn’t write back once..."


January 19, 2013
Al Gore nets another $29 million for being Al Gore

"This is what’s wrong with America..."


January 19, 2013
NBC reporting that Adam Lanza took nothing but handguns into school

"No rifle..."


January 18, 2013
PolitiFact “Lie of the Year” turns out to be true

"[Insert punchline here.]"


January 18, 2013
Obama Administration sets aside 1.7 million acres for 4,612 sage grouse

"That’s 368 acres per bird."


January 18, 2013
White House Jobs Council hasn’t had a meeting in over a year

"It’s a question of priorities, you see..."


January 17, 2013
In honor of her Diamond Jubilee, the IOC gave Queen Elizabeth Olympic medals

"Before you laugh..."


January 17, 2013
Tyrants who used children as props


January 16, 2013
Chairman of British Freedom Party arrested for Facebook comment

"He criticised the religion of Islam which is apparently not allowed in the UK..."


January 16, 2013
Indonesian judge suggests rape victims might enjoy it

"Want to guess his religion?"


January 15, 2013
The Atlantic publishes Scientology propaganda as “sponsored content"

"...then gets embarrassed by the ensuing ridicule and removes the article."


January 15, 2013
Fish pedicure case goes to court

"First they come for your guns, then they come for your Garra Rufa fish."


January 15, 2013
Transsexuals battle feminists – transsexuals win

"Philosophically, we don’t know who to root for in this one..."


January 14, 2013
Texas follows New York’s lead – publishes addresses of gun owners

"Each orange dot represents a Texas gun owner"


January 13, 2013
Why is public education so expensive?

"...for one thing, New York City spends $6,900 per student moving them around on yellow buses."


January 12, 2013
Joe Biden says there’s “no silver bullet” to stop gun violence

"Really, Joe? That’s the metaphor you think is appropriate?"


January 11, 2013
Suzanne Somers says Newtown shootings caused by diet soda

"Now we know where stupid washed-up actresses go when they retire – the Huffington Post."


January 11, 2013
Bloomberg restricts painkillers in city hospitals

"In other words, so what if you suffer..."


January 11, 2013
Obama’s energy loan scandals will finally get their day in court

"...maybe this lawsuit will air the Obama administration’s dirty laundry in civil court."


January 10, 2013
Jack Lew for Secretary of the Treasury?

"...the signature that will soon be appearing on our currency looks like a drug-addled doodle."


January 10, 2013
Head of pro-abortion group caught in underage sex sting

"Pro-life groups have been saying for years that sexual predators rely on cooperative abortion clinics..."


January 9, 2013
Matt Damon’s anti-fracking movie full of factual errors

"Typical Hollywood, they apparently never heard of Google."


January 9, 2013
Barack the Unmerciful

"During his first term, Obama granted fewer clemency requests than any president except..."


January 9, 2013
Bill Clinton to be honored as 2013 “Father of the Year”

"When they get done crawling out of the rabbit hole..."


January 8, 2013
Current TV staffers say Al Gore is “nothing but a bullshitter”

"...it took them more than ten years to figure out Al Gore is a bullshitter?"


January 7, 2013
Wikipedia scrubs Elizabeth Warren Cherokee scandal

"Never trust Wikipedia – it’s edited by lying libturds..."


January 7, 2013
Al Roker gives WAY too much information

"Why, oh why, do media celebrities think we care about their personal crap?"


January 6, 2013
Dem congressman compares debt-ceiling blank check to Emancipation Proclamation

"No, we don’t see no stinkin’ power grab."


January 5, 2013
Syria has its own version of Gaddafi’s virgin bodyguards

"called “The Lionesses for National Defense...""


January 4, 2013
English textbook wipes Israel off the map

"According to this textbook approved by the British Council, Israel is already gone..."


January 4, 2013
New Hampshire legislator wants to “restrict freedoms” of conservatives

"...the south end of a mule heading north."


January 4, 2013
Nancy Pelosi says unemployment rate is “going in the right direction”

"...even though it’s the same as last month."


January 1, 2013
Journal News hires armed guards

"“Caryn McBride” will henceforth and forevermore be a synonym for “hypocritical jackass.”"


January 1, 2013
Ten Most Corrupt Politicians for 2012

"No surprise, eight of the ten are Democrats."



February 12, 2013 - Awesome post with the lightning strike at the Piers Morgan reset. Quoted you on my twitter page (@jeffsgah). Laughed out loud and got some funny looks, good stuff. - Jeff, Missouri

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